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A fiery debate has long raged in the medical profession on whether male menopause actually exists and what, if any, is its effect on male sexual performance. The questions are many. If it really does exist, at what age will it begin to affect their sexual performance?
What precautions can be taken to avoid its arrival and are there treatments to help reverse it? If it's real, how does it differ from female menopause? It's a no-brainer that men go through sexuality changes as they age, just as women do. The erection-on-demand performance they enjoyed as teens is no longer the case at age forty. Little by little as they age, men begin to notice changes in their sexual performance as the urge for sex also lessens.
As they age, it takes longer for men to get an erection to come on and the penis requires more direct stimulation to get and stay aroused. The erection may also be angled, rather than straight and rigid and ejaculation may not be as forceful. Also, the time it takes between erections gets longer.
Rather than physical, the decrease in a man's sexual performance could also be due to psychological factors like a mid-life crisis. His waning sexual performance could be blamed on any number of external factors. It could be due to lack of interest in an aging wife who isn't the babe she was ten years ago, the stress of work, demands of growing children, or financial difficulties, even worries about caring for aging parents.
So how do you differentiate between a mid-life crisis and male menopause? A mid-life crisis is more a problem of psycho-social adjustment, meaning it may have nothing to do with a man's sex life. However, male menopause is distinctly physiological in nature, similar in many ways to female menopause. Because frequently men can have both physical and psychological factors affecting them, the line between male menopause and mid-life crisis becomes hazy.
Although menopause is most often associated with women, men experience a different type of menopause or 'life change.' Where women cease to menstruate and usually can no longer get pregnant, men can continue to father children. Symptoms of menopause in both men and women are similar and can sometimes be just as overwhelming.
As reported in Andrology: The Science of Dysfunctions of the Male Reproductive System, approximately 40% of men between 40 and 60 will experience some degree of lethargy, depression, irritability, mood swings, hot flashes, insomnia, decreased sex drive, weakness, loss of both lean body mass and bone mass, making them susceptible to hip fractures, and difficulty in attaining and sustaining erections (impotence).
Testosterone (male sex hormone) stimulates sexual development in male infants, bone and muscle growth in adult males and also controls sex drive and male sexual performance. The levels of testosterone diminish gradually after age 40. In healthy males age 55, the amount of testosterone is significantly lower than 10 years earlier, and by 80 decreases to pre-puberty levels.
In 1944 what is now described as male menopause was reported in a key article written by two American doctors, Carl Heller and Gordon Myers. Comparing symptoms with that of female menopause, they did a blind controlled trial showing the effectiveness of testosterone treatment.
But like many pioneering efforts their findings were vastly unreported due to men being unwilling to accept that they could have 'menopause,' while men with genuine symptoms and sexual dysfunctions were often told it was a mid-life crisis or just in their heads.
Around the same time testosterone therapy had come into disrepute in the public eye due to athletes misuse and abuse. So the concept of male hormone replacement therapy for male menopause symptoms, impotence, or sexual performance problems wasn't very well received.
Added to that, the hype about side effects and the tie between prostate cancer and hormone replacement further negated its acceptance by many men.
Only after HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) became popular and produced desirable results for women, providing tangible improvement in symptoms and 'age reversal' in post-menopausal women, did men begin to take notice and jump on the bandwagon, not wanting to get left behind their female counterparts.
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Judging by the rapid growth of the penis enlargement market, a lot of men are not happy with their current size. I’m not sure whether the problems they face in their sex lives come from penis size, low confidence or some other cause, but it’s clear that a bigger penis is one of the ways to achieve success in bed. A bigger penis does matter when asking a lady out and once you’ve got her in bed any other problems should be forgotten for the moment.
You probably don’t need me to tell you about the benefits of having a bigger penis when it comes to sex. It’s absolutely fantastic to never have to worry about sex and simply take it whenever and wherever it happens. This is the feeling you get when you no longer have to think what the lady might say when she discovers that you are not particularly well-endowed. This is also the feeling you get when you see a content smile on your lady’s face and you know you’ve done a good thing. A bigger penis may not be exactly the answer to all prayers, but it can be a very good advantage when used correctly.
And let’s not forget the psychological benefits of having a bigger penis dangling in your pants. Who’s got time to be shy around women when they’re ogling that bulging crotch? Nothing comes close to that feeling of confidence (or even swagger) that’s plain to see in the face of any man who’s absolutely sure of his ability to charm women. Regardless of how many bad experiences one may have had in the past, a bigger penis is bound to make you feel as if you could take on anything and then some. Women like that kind of attitude in a man, as long as it doesn’t turn to arrogance.
One of the big questions that men would love to know the final answer to is, naturally: “Do women prefer a bigger penis or not?” The answer varies from woman to woman, but all men should know that many women tend to like bigger penises. Although penis size cannot make up for a lack of skill, it’s still better to be larger than average than the other way around. Some women like longer penises, while others prefer a good girth. However, you cannot go wrong with a bigger penis. And if by some really bad luck one lady doesn’t appreciate your being bigger, that’s no apt to be a problem. You can always move on.
A bigger penis brings many important advantages to its owner. It’s very important to be able to enjoy sex without having to worry about anything. Sex should be a positive thing in your life, not a constant source of anxiety and depression and there’s no need to turn into a recluse just because you are afraid you can’t handle a night of passion. Life is for living, not for hiding in a room, away from the world.
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Penis enlargement exercises are among the best things that have come out of the large and not always reliable market of male enhancement techniques. As the slow movement toward mainstream recognition is sifting out dishonest vendors, useless products and harmful ideas, the true winners of the competition are getting stronger every day. Men who have been dealt a bad hand by nature can now use a variety of techniques and products to improve on their design.
Unfortunately, not every man out there is able to perform the exercises as they should be performed. Many individual cases are simply impossible to take into account when designing penis enlargement exercises and the popularity of these exercises has also triggered a wave of questions. Men wish to know how to overcome this or that problem they have been facing during exercises and they deserve clear answers. And while some questions are answered elsewhere, here is a list of hints and answers for three major problems that come up time and again.
Some men have really small penises. They are the people for whom even the average length penis would be an improvement. Unfortunately a very small penis makes some exercises very difficult (stretches come to mind here). These people have to soldier it through exercises and to put up with a lot of awkward moments until the growth factor kicks in and their penises gain in length. A good option for these men is the use of traction devices. Wearing such a device eight hours per day is sure to make those gains materialize faster than usual. Another option is to try and adapt the exercises’ requirements to their situation, such as using a metal pen for the V stretch instead of a metal bar that might prove unsuitable.
Uncircumcised men are another group facing constant problems when performing certain exercises. The foreskin gets in the way of both jelqing and stretching, which means that special attention must be paid to getting the exercises right. Still, jelqs can be performed by uncircumcised men if enough lubrication is applied. Also, one hand should be placed at the base of the penis to hold the skin back. Achieving the grip needed for stretches is easier when baby powder is used in sufficient quantity. If baby powder does not work, use a piece of tissue paper for extra grip.
The final category is the one made of men whose daily schedules are too busy to include penis enlargement exercises. This is a very common problem since the busy lifestyles of this age leave little room for anything beside work and relaxation. For this reason many men who start penis enlargement programs end up quitting. We all know that time is not always easy to find, but these exercises are meant for people who really need them, so it’s very important to find those 30 minutes of free time. For instance, waking up 30 minutes earlier than usual and starting the day with enlargement exercises is a good idea that worked fine for many men. Others are able to perform exercises in front of the TV, watching their favorite shows.
As you can see, anybody can run into problems while struggling to perform the enlargement routines correctly and to avoid missing a training session. Still, with a bit of patience and commitment, anybody can find a schedule that includes the 30 minutes needed for penis enlargement exercises. It’s all a matter of willpower because any task may seem impossible at first, but a lot easier when you’re in the thick of it.
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LIFE AFTER BIRTH: THE FIRST 6 WEEKS
Life after birth can be chaotic, especially if this is your first baby. Taking care of your newborn is hard work and won’t be much fun until he or she develops a personality. In case you didn’t know, a newborn doesn’t laugh or smile, it can’t play or even hold its own head up without a supporting hand. All it can do is eat, sleep, dirty diapers, pass gas, throw up and cry. Despite all of this, you will – believe it or not – love your little tot more than anything else in the world. Moreover, you will learn a lot about yourself and your partner as you both navigate through these initial days of parenthood.
Sex (or lack thereof)
You should know that sex is off-limits for at least 6 weeks after your partner gives birth. Don’t forget that she just delivered a fair-sized human through a very tiny birth canal and her body will need time to heal. Your gal’s doctor will ask to see her about six weeks after delivery for a full physical and emotional post-baby follow-up. At this visit, the doctor will check to see how her wounds are healing. If everything is good, your partner will get the green light for sex. However, this doesn’t mean that she will be as keen and eager to get back into the game. She’ll likely be tired from the whole pregnancy ordeal and from the added responsibilities of caring for a newborn. Help out as much as possible and be patient. Her interest in sex will return…just don’t push her too hard.
Sleep (or lack thereof)
The good news is that babies need a lot of sleep – about 15-16 hours a day. Unfortunately, newborns don’t have regular sleep patterns and don’t sleep for long hours at a time. This means that you won’t have regular sleep patterns either. Get used to napping throughout the day. And if that doesn’t work for you, then get used to sleep deprivation. You and your partner may feel like you are losing your minds as you quickly realize how cranky and dysfunctional you can be after several nights of disrupted sleep. Hang in there. After about 8 or 10 weeks, your baby will start to sleep through the night (approximately five consecutive hours) and your sleep-deprived, zombie-like state will be a thing of the past.
You may with to alternate night shifts to maximize the amount of uninterrupted sleep each partner gets. There really is no need for both of you to get up every time the baby needs to be fed, coddled or changed.
Caring for Your Tiny Tot
After your shopping spree for nursery items, layettes and strollers, you may have thought that you were fully ready for your baby. While these purchases were necessary, they are only a small part of what you need to survive postnatal care. There will be many new and strange things for you and your partner to learn. The ins-and-outs of feeding, bathing, diapering and umbilical cord care are in no way intuitive. Don’t get scared or discouraged by your new-found incompetence. Chances are that your partner is also incompetent in this area. It’s okay to make mistakes; every new parent does. The good news is that the parental learning curve is steep. You and your partner will quickly develop the skills needed to care for your tot. To give you a helping hand, here is are a few pointers on baby care basics:
Feeding
The first step is to decide your method of feeding – breast milk or formula? There are many benefits of breastfeeding, including nutritional and emotional advantages. Breast milk is a complete food source that contains hormones and disease-fighting compounds that are absent in formula. Nursing also helps build a special bond between mother and baby. Studies show that babies thrive on the skin-to-skin contact, cuddling and holding that occurs during breastfeeding. However, there are a variety of reasons why many women do not nurse. They may not be able to produce enough milk or they may have to return to work soon after birth and are not available to nurse the baby throughout the day. Whatever the reason, your gal should not feel guilty or uncomfortable with deciding to bottle-feed. There are many excellent formulas available which are highly nutritious. Speak with your partner’s physician or pediatrician about recommended formulas.
Regardless of your method of feeding, you should know that most newborns eat about 8 times a day (approximately every two to three hours). However, you shouldn’t try to set scheduled eating times during the first few weeks after birth. Let your baby eat whenever he or she seems hungry.
Bathing
Because your baby’s umbilical cord will need to heal, it is very important that you keep it dry to prevent infection. After about two weeks, the gross looking stump (i.e., remnants of the umbilical cord) will fall off and your baby will be left with a cute little belly button. In the meantime, take extra care not to wet the umbilical cord during bathing. The best way to do this is to give your tot sponge baths until the cord heals.
To give a sponge bath, you will need a stable surface, a soft washcloth and lukewarm water. Make sure that you test the water temperature before applying the cloth to your baby to prevent scalding him or her. Your elbow or the inner part of your wrist is a good place to test water temperature. Your hand is not a good guide since it is not very sensitive enough to tell how hot or cold the water really is. Now you can begin wiping your baby gently with the moistened washcloth. Begin by wiping your baby’s eyes (from inside to outside), ears and under arms. Then you can move onto legs and genitalia. When washing the bottom, make sure you wipe from front to back to avoid bringing any feces near the genitals. If you have had your baby boy circumcised, then you will want to speak with your pediatrician about caring for the penis while it heals.
The most important thing to remember when bathing your baby is to NEVER leave him or her along – not even for a second. Babies squirm around a lot, so you should always keep your eyes and one hand on your little one during bath time. The same rule applies when you are changing your baby’s diaper.
Changing Diapers
Don’t avoid this responsibility because it you have never changed a diaper before. Because babies pee and poop so often, you will spend a lot of time changing diapers. Take advantage of this precious time with junior. You may also have to develop silly and immature techniques to comfort your baby if he/she does not enjoy the diapering process. As ridiculous as you may feel, this is actually an important part of establishing a parent-tot bond.
While it may be dirty work, diapering is not rocket science. For easy to follow instructions, make sure to read our article on How to Change a Diaper at www.thefunkystork.com.
Caring for Yourself and Your Partner As flighty and silly as it might sound, self-care is important. Neither you nor your partner is doing your tot any good by neglecting yourselves. Try a shift-work system where you schedule an hour or two during the day where one parent will care for the baby alone. This way, the other parent can practice self-care – taking a long, warm bath, going for a run, doing yoga, reading or just going for coffee with a friend.
You will find that self-care will also help maintain civility in your relationship with your partner. By making time to do something for yourself, you will find that you won’t feel as overwhelmed by your initiation to parenthood. And don’t forget that this rule also applies to your partner. In fact, she will likely need more time for self-care than you since she will also be recovering from both 40 weeks of pregnancy and hours of childbirth. Also be aware that your partner is particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression during the first weeks after birth.
Postpartum depression, which is a more serious case of the baby blues, can begin as early as a few days after delivery. Experts don’t know the real cause of postpartum depression, but they suspect that it has something to do with changes hormonal levels. Stress, disturbed sleeping patterns and changes in daily routine can all contribute to postpartum depression. Signs and symptoms include restlessness, irritability, changes in appetite, sadness and anxiety. If your partner is experiencing any of these symptoms or if you sense that something isn’t right with the way your partner is behaving, you should consult your physician immediately. Untreated, postpartum depression can develop into postpartum psychosis, which is a serious mental illness that requires medical intervention. Both you and your partner should take her postnatal psychological state very seriously.
On a lighter note, you and your partner make an extra effort to keep the romance in your relationship. While your baby will require a lot of your time and attention, he or she will also be taking a lot of naps. Nap-time may be the perfect (and only) time for your and your partner to romance each other. Snuggle, watch a movie, make dinner or enjoy a glass of wine together. Whatever you decide to do, take a minute to set the mood with candles and relaxing music.
Another important factor to consider is how involved you want your parents or partner’s parents to be. Parental intervention can add some seriously unneeded stress to the situation and unnecessary strain on your relationship. That said, you shouldn’t reject offers to help. Being a new parent is not going to be easy and you will need all the help that you can get. Just remember to set limits and don’t be afraid to tell your relatives what you need (and don’t need). The last thing you want is to have one overbearing relatives overstepping their boundaries and overstaying their welcome.
Now What?
Things change after about 6 weeks of caring for your newborn. You and your partner will be different people, your relationship will be redefined and your tot will begin to act more like a baby than a squirmy alien. Life will get easier from here on out. Your tot will become a toddler and will begin roaming around the house. Make sure you are prepared for junior’s curiosity by baby-proofing your home early.
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It takes a long time for students of English-as-a-second-language to learn to read well. This is not because they have a reading problem: They can read perfectly well in their own language. The problem is just that they don’t know the meaning of enough English words. In other words, they don’t have a big enough vocabulary.
It’s not easy to build a vocabulary that allows you to read as well, or almost as well, as people who grew up speaking and reading English. It's quite easy to build the basic vocabulary of 1000-2000 words that you need in order to speak English to other people and understand what they’re saying. You’ll probably pick up that many words, without really trying, during the early stages of your study of English. And if that doesn’t happen, you can always sit down with a good vocabulary list and a dictionary and start memorizing.
However, to be able to read English well, you need to know a lot more than 2000 words — about ten times that many, in fact. You won’t learn all these words without trying, even if you spend a lot of time taking English courses and talking to English speakers.
Learning the most basic words in English, or any other language, is easy because these words are used so often. ‘Second-level words’ — words that are not necessary for basic communication, but which are necessary for reading — can only be learned by the hard work of studying. But what sort of studying is most effective and most enjoyable?
One method is to take the direct approach and learn words ‘out of context’ — by studying word lists, doing vocabulary ‘exercises,’ or even by reading through a learners’ dictionary. There are plenty of textbooks around to help you with this job and you may find English courses that concentrate on this sort of vocabulary building.
It’s also possible to take a more ‘natural’ approach and try to build up your vocabulary by reading English books, newspapers, and magazines — looking up words in a dictionary as you go along and taking notes.
Both the direct and the indirect approach can work, but both have serious disadvantages. Most people find studying word lists and reading dictionaries quite boring, and a boring method of studying is likely to be ineffective. In addition, even if you’re not bored, you may find it hard to remember the words you try to learn in this way. It seems that words, and other things, stay in our minds better if we see them for the first time while we’re doing something interesting — like reading an enjoyable story or article.
The disadvantage of the natural approach is that for intermediate learners — ones who are trying to build their vocabulary up to the 20,000-word level — the most readily available texts tend to be far too difficult and, therefore, they are ineffiicent learning tools. Books, even if they are quite easy to understand, tend to be much too long for someone who is reading slowly while using a dictionary and taking notes. Magazine and newspaper articles, on the other hand, almost always contain a lot of language that is unnecessarily difficult because it is idiomatic or metaphorical or because it includes unusual words that are not really needed. This slows down learners and also makes the experience of reading less interesting and therefore less effective.
The best method of vocabulary building is one that combines the advantages of both approaches while avoiding the disadvantages. One way to do this is to learn vocabulary in context, through reading, but with texts that have been specially written for vocabulary building. This makes for natural, efficient, and enjoyable studying.
Finding this kind of reading material can be difficult, unfortunately. The reading passages in ESL texts can be a good source, but they're often few in number and very short. Moreover, the readings in books for beginners' are often quite uninteresting and the ones in books for more advanced students are often about quite difficult 'academic' ideas. To succeed with this method of vocabulary enlargement, you need long and interesting texts. The best sources are probably 'simplified' versions of famous works of English literature written specially for learners. Books of this kind are not used as often in ESL courses now as they were in the past, but, if you're taking an English course, your teacher may able to lend you some, and you should certainly be able to find some in your library. If you go to a library or bookstore to look for useful reading material, you should also look at children's and teenagers' books. They are written for readers who, unlike you, have English as their first language; but like you, they still have to learn more words before they can read 'grown-up' material easily.
