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Women's capacity for orgasm is awesome. They can come over and over again, and still be ready for more! This capacity seems almost limitless. They can experience clitoral orgasms, g-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, blended orgasms, and not only one but multiples of any of these! They've even been blessed with a body part, the clitoris, whose only purpose is sexual pleasure. This may all seem a bit unfair to men who typically reach a precipice, fall over the edge, roll over and go to sleep!
Why is it then that so many women are frustrated rather than satisfied? Why is it that for so many loving couples, the female orgasm remains an elusive dream; one in which she's perhaps become resigned to sex that's pleasurable but not truly satisfying, or even worse, faking it to salvage her partner's ego. If it is really bad perhaps she fakes orgasm just to get the sexual ordeal over with! Or he sadly wonders: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make her come despite stiff fingers and aching tongue? His sexual self-esteem is wounded, and he secretly feels less of a man believing he has failed her.
The first step on the path to freeing a woman's orgasm is for both men and women to understand that men do not give women orgasms. Women allow themselves to have orgasms. Despite popular belief, no matter how good a lover you may be, unless your partner can give herself up to the pleasures of her body, she won't have orgasms. This realization alone can open the door to women becoming orgasmic. It takes the pressure to "perform" off of men, and it frees women to take responsibility for their own sexual fulfillment.
This is very important. If your woman is blaming you, and you may also be blaming yourself for her not having orgasms, it is quite possible, even likely, that you are both looking in the wrong place to solve the problem. Mind you, an unskilled, selfish, or insensitive male lover can be a real problem, and at the very least is certainly a dull bore. And to say that a woman is responsible for her own sexual fulfillment does not mean you revert to a slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am approach to sex and let her fend for herself. After all, the more skilled and attentive a lover is the more pleasure he himself receives, and although you can't give her an orgasm you certainly can help her to have one, or even lots of them. So even though it's not entirely up to you, there is something you can do to help.
The biggest barrier to orgasm for women is mental distraction - thoughts that float into her mind, catching her in her head, and taking her away from what's going on in her body. As soon as she starts thinking, she is out of the moment and will lose touch with her senses and her pleasure. Some of these thoughts may trigger feelings of shame or guilt about experiencing sexual pleasure, for no matter how liberated our attitudes toward sex seem to have become, there yet exists the perception that "good" girls don't! Even today women are divided into categories of "virgin" or "whore". Those who engage lustily in the delights of the body are somehow morally questionable. You can help your delectable partner move beyond these pleasure stifling attitudes by letting her know how much you respect, admire and cherish her fully female sensual self. Tell her often, especially when you're making love, that it thoroughly turns you on to see her let loose the passionate side of her nature.
This is not always easy for men to do. They may have internalized an unconscious conditioning that leads them to accept the rather misogynist belief that women can't be good and pure, and also be fantastic lovers. If they believe this, they are placing themselves in a very unfortunate situation. This belief system inevitably leads to the man selecting one woman for a partner, spouse and mother, and a different partner for an affair or mistress. Adultery is about the only option left to a man who holds such a belief system. The resulting deceit and lying force a separation between the couple and the relationship ends soon enough, for example in breaking up or divorce. In this scenario, the man is at fault and the solution does lie with him. Only a change in his beliefs will solve this problem.
Sexual abuse is a horror and curse that is unbelievably common in our society. Women that have been sexually abused often have great difficulty in allowing themselves to trust their lover, let go into the sensual moment, and surrender to sexual ecstasy. If your lady is having difficulty experiencing orgasm; if you are a reasonably skilled lover; and if you have communicated to her that you honestly wish her to fully awaken as a sexual partner, then the problem could be some psychological damage from sexual abuse. Ask her about this with the greatest tenderness and caring that you are capable of. Be aware that many women actually blame themselves for their own sexual abuse, so this can be the touchiest of all possible subjects for discussion. If sexual abuse is an issue, it is advisable to encourage her to seek professional counseling or some other form of help.
Besides worrying about whether they are "bad" if they really enjoy and want sex "a lot", many women worry about enjoying sex the right way. They worry about how they look, smell and taste. They worry that the cellulite in their upper thighs or the slight bulge of tummy fat may quiver unattractively. They worry about being "clean down there". They worry about how long it takes to reach climax, how much time their man has to spend stroking, licking, and caressing to help them fly over the mountain. All of these thoughts take them out of lovemaking. To help her stay in the pleasures of her body tell her with words and sounds and looks that you adore her, you love to devour her with your tongue, you could keep on touching her forever, it's a delight to you to give her pleasure. And mean it, because if you haven't learned how to enjoy pleasuring your partner, pretty soon you won't have one!
Once she's able to relax into the joys of lovemaking and focus on the exquisite sensations her body can feel rather than listening to the demon distractors her mind can conjure up, a woman's path to orgasm is much clearer. With particular loving skills of your own you can assist her to break that path wide open.
Most men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, whether they're sexually aroused or not. This isn't usually the case with women. Think of the vagina as a "potential" opening, a magical door that will happily open wide to receive you, but only after you've called ahead to ensure your welcome. Be certain she's eager for your genital explorations by focusing loving attention on other parts of her body first - lots of kissing, neck nuzzling, tender strokes on back, shoulders and arms, then adoring caresses of her breasts. Only after you sense she's ready, through signs like rapid breathing, flushed skin, hardened nipples or enticing moans should you move to her vagina. Once your hand or mouth is at her sweet honey pot begin to explore it from the outside inward - outer lips, clitoris, inner lips, vaginal canal.
Generally women reach orgasm most easily through clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is extremely sensitive to touch of all kinds. Often the head of the clitoris, the pointed tip, is too sensitive for much direct pressure, so focus your attention on the sides. Touch around the clitoris instead of right on it, at least until her level of excitement increases. The skin tissue of your fingers is not nearly as sensitive as the tissue around her clitoris. But the tissue of your mouth and tongue is an almost perfect match in sensitivity. Unless you are more highly skilled in using your fingers, it is a much safer way to start by using your mouth for oral stimulation of the clitoris. Experiment with different pressures, strokes and speeds. Ask her which ones she likes best. A good way to do this is to try two different touches, then ask her if she likes "a" or "b" better.
If she's willing, invite her to masturbate for you so you can learn exactly how she likes to be touched. Many women are shy to do this at first but with some gentle encouragement she may really show her wanton self. It can be a great turn-on for both of you. Many men are actually quite frightened by a woman who is fully sexually awakened. They may doubt their own ability as a man to keep up, or to be able to perform adequately. They may fear that if she is too much woman sexually for him, that she may go elsewhere and find what she wants. It may help you to overcome this fear if you remember that you are not responsible for giving your lady sexual satisfaction. She must do that for herself. But if this fear is very strong, you may seek counseling help to deal with it.
When you do find a particular stroke or caress that is really driving her wild, keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it. Don't change anything about it. Don't go faster, slower, softer, harder, or switch direction. Keep doing exactly the same thing until she lets you know she wants a change either through words or body movement. This holds true whether you're pleasuring her clitorally or vaginally with your fingers or your mouth. Keep going even if your hands or mouth get really tired!
It's a good idea to wait until she is very aroused before entering her vagina either with your fingers or your penis. Generally if she's not wet, she's not ready. It's as simple as that. If your lover doesn't have a lot of natural vaginal juices even when she is fully aroused be sure to use a good silicone or water-based lubricant. Nothing can be a quicker turn-off than rough, dry skin rubbing on soft vaginal tissues. Water-based or silicone lubricant is better because oil can clog the sensitive vaginal tissue.
The most sensitive part of a woman's vaginal canal is the first inch to two inches. It's here that most of the nerve endings are located, so when you first enter her concentrate most of your attention there. The elusive g-spot can usually be found in this general area, on the top of the vaginal wall, a couple of inches in. Imagine a glass lying on the floor. If you reach your first two fingers into the glass at the top, i.e., toward the ceiling rather than the bottom towards the floor, you should find it. It is difficult to reach the g-spot through intercourse, so you will find it much easier with you fingers than with your penis. There are also some interesting dildos and vibrators with just the right shape to reach the G-spot. Move your index finger or your first two fingers in a "come hither" motion (as if you were asking someone from across the room to come over to where you are) and gently stroke her. When you touch her g-spot you may notice a more bumpy or raised area of skin, but you may not. The best way to know you've found this highly intense love spot is by her reaction. Where you look is not quite as important as when you look. Unless she is excited through and through, perhaps from a clitoral orgasm beforehand, it can be difficult to find the g-spot.
Stimulation of the g-spot can produce extraordinarily intense orgasms. As a woman is approaching a g-spot orgasm she may feel she has to urinate. This may immediately cause her to tighten up, stop, and pull back from the edge of bliss. If she can stay relaxed and keep going through that "have-to-pee" sensation it will pass and move on into deep waves of sexual delight. The woman should urinate before intercourse begins, so she can be more confident that the feeling that she has to urinate is a misleading feeling and can be safely ignored.
For most women it is difficult to reach a climax through intercourse alone. This is because the sensitive clitoris isn't easily stimulated just by thrusting motions; the g-spot is difficult to reach with even a fully erect penis; and because often the male partner goes over the edge into ejaculatory orgasm before the woman has had enough action to bring her to the heights. If you touch her clitoris before and during intercourse, and if you've pleasured her vaginally by touching the g-spot with your fingers, the chances are much better that she will have a deep vaginal orgasm while your penis is inside her.
Learn the strokes that turn her on. Tell her how fabulous it is that she's sensual and sexual. Let her know you adore her body and love to touch and kiss it for hours. Help her forget about trying to make orgasm happen and focus instead on thoroughly enjoying every moment of lovemaking. If you awaken your multi-orgasmic woman you are going to like it!
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At the Federal Trade Commission we have seen attorneys who suffer from the vice of buggery get promoted to higher and more important international divisions. Now then, are these attorneys who have personal sexual problems and are breaking the laws of sodomy not wanted in the main group of Federal Trade Commission Employees? Is the FTC worried about sexual harassment laws? Are they worried about on-the-clock Men’s Restroom “Quickies” and the possibility of the need for an unflattering in-house employee investigation becoming public? Is the Federal Trade Commission afraid to fire these buggerists, for some employee unlawful termination suit? Is buggery so pervasive that the FTC has to invent new titles for these guys so they can be moved up in rank to other divisions? If so why doesn’t the FTC adopt a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy” to prevent special treatment of those who suffer from buggery? Can’t the FTC get psychological help for these men who thrust their penis up another man’s rectum? Obviously these human organs were not set up to do that. We know that the FTC continually screw with the natural order of competition and evolutionary progress of efficient competition and survival of the fittest businesses. But why are they now trying to modify humankind’s evolution?
If Sodomy is against the law, why is the FTC not doing backend checks of their employees; after all if they are breaking the laws behind closed doors at home or in the Men’s Restroom at the Federal Trade Commission, then obviously they do not care about our laws in this country. Several have threatened to move to Canada now that Homosexual Marriage has been legalized, yet to this day have not made good on their personal promises. Additionally an FTC attorney has access to information, secret courts, other agencies and abuse of power is ramped in that agency? In one case we studied an FTC attorney was put on an International Fraud Team, thus going to other nations to represent our nation. This of course is not a very good moral showing for the United States and could get serious if they are spreading their legs and spreading AIDS. If so the FTC is liable for whatever happens to those who contract the disease. Furthermore if a person of strong moral character is needed to curb international fraud, then why allow anyone who has the vice of buggery to represent this great nation or our Justice Department? Let’s face it there are employees in the Federal Trade Commission who need help and if this is the fine folks in government we are suppose to respect as a Free Nation and Free Men, then; well, we have not come very far in our mission to: Truth, Justice and the American Way. How can a man administer and monitor the laws, yet break them on their personal time. We deserve more. The FTC is full of employees who suffer from the vice of buggery. Think about it.
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Erectile Dysfunction (also know as impotence) is the failure to gain and maintain an erection. ED should not be confused with other sexual disorders such as lack of sex drive, ejaculation, and orgasm problems. It strictly deals with the ability to get an erection.
Most experts believe Erectile Dysfunction affects well over 30 million men in the US. Typically, ED is caused by a physical occurrence such as an injury, disease, or substance use. Anything that prevents the necessary level of blood flow the penis can result in ED. Although, ED is not an inevitable effect of aging, it is estimated that 5% of men experience it at the age of 40 and 15 to 25 percent of men over 60 experiences ED.
Erectile Dysfunction can be caused by damage to arteries, muscles, and tissues, often as a result of disease. Diseases can include diabetes, kidney disease, chronic alcoholism, multiple sclerosis, atherosclerosis, and vascular disease. All of the these diseases combined account for about 70 percent of ED cases. Between 35 and 50 percent of men with diabetes experience impotence.
A Patients medical history can give insight as to the cause of ED, as well as diseases that lead to ED. Ones sexual history can also help discover the cause of ED. Also, history of prescription and illegal drug use can help discover the cause of ED. Thus, cutting down and/or stopping certain medications or illegal drug use can alleviate ED.
If you believe you may have erectile dysfunction, you should see your doctor for an examination. There are several relatively simple tests, which can be administered by a doctor to diagnose ED. Again, impotence affects millions of American men and there is no shame in being diagnosed with ED; its very common and there are many treatments for it. In my opinion, the most shame would come from knowing you have a sexual problem, and suffering through it without seeking help. ED has been treatable with great success. So if you’re sexuality is not right due to inability to get and/or maintain an erection, seek help from you’re doctor, they will be able to diagnose and treat the problem.
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My humble relationship advice for women at 40.
Recently, I had the opportunity to play a round of golf with a female friend of mine and two of her female friends as well. After a great round of golf, we went back to her house where I proceeded to cook dinner for all of us.
Because I was a friend, male and cooking dinner, the ladies seemed to feel very comfortable talking in front of me about their dating lives.
Holy cow. What an eye opener that was.
Let me first start by saying, I am not all that and a bag of chips -far from it actually. I have my hang ups and feel the normal insecurities most of us face on a daily basis.
What I heard and experienced that fateful night at dinner almost made me run screaming from the house.
As the night progressed and wine flowed, I began to see a side of this group of three women that had me questioning if I would ever date again. I have never heard a group of people bitch and gripe about so many people in my entire life. They looked like three Queens, sipping red wine and damning the rest of us who happen to be male to the guillotine.
I felt like asking them if they saw any correlation between the fact they had such impossibly high standards for men and the fact they were all single themselves. Furthermore, it appeared this group of forty something women had never had a serious relationship, either past or present, where they seemed sincerely happy.
I am not suggesting all women are like this.
If however, you find you are approaching forty or on the North side of forty, single and without any prospects for any kind of date soon, you may want to consider the following advice.
If you are looking for perfection from a man then you damn well better bring perfection to the table yourself.
These three women were holding up impossibly high standards that no man could realistically attain.
One woman in the group was obviously very good looking, had a good job, loved golf and seemed very bright. There was a litany of stories from her about failed relationships and unsuccessful dating experiences.
Nice guy, cute, clean and neat, great job but drove a crappy car. Perhaps he didn’t see the value in wasting money on a sports car? Perhaps he valued saving some of his money for later in life?
Great guy, great job and great everything else but had a weird haircut and ear hair.
Awesome guy, sincere, respectful, bright, witty and charming but was not well enough endowed.
I’m not suggesting women settle for any reason. None of us should do that. I am saying that we all need to set realistic expectations of what we are looking for in a date.
What would happen if the great guy with the crappy car were given a chance to explain himself? What would happen if Mr. Awesome with the small penis had a good friend who could make livestock weep and cry? If they had given any of these guys half a chance, they may have found their potential dating circle may have expanded nicely.
I have no trouble getting dates. It’s not because I am the best looking guy, with a great body, a million dollar bank account, a fantastic car and I could stand in for Ron Jeremy. I get dates because I realize I am far from perfect but I am a sincerely nice person. My expectations for myself are realistic and more importantly, I set realistic expectations for my dates.
We have all heard women pine for the good guys in a relationship, wondering where they are. How come there are no good guys left they seem to constantly complain.
There are nice guys out there. They do exist!
Ladies, you need to give some of us a chance. Dating is a lot like poker; you have to know how to play the cards you have been dealt. You can only bluff for so long. If these women continue to play their hands the way they have been going, it is only a matter of time before someone calls their hand.
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There are times that you are wondering whether you may be pregnant or not. It may be difficult to tell at times especially if you have not been pregnant. There are signs and symptoms that are very common to all pregnant women and these signs have long been unfailing and proven to be manifested by pregnant women.
However, you must remember that these signs are not just clues for pregnancy. They may be also signs for other illnesses. It is still best to consult a physician or take the pregnancy test once you have experienced these symptoms.
Here are five sure signs that will indicate whether you are about to become a mom or not:
1. If you missed your menstrual period, better take extra care. Once you missed a cycle for your menstruation, it may be a sign that you are pregnant. This is the first symptom that will indicate that you are positive of pregnancy. However, some say that they even experience pregnancy signs even before they miss their period for that cycle.
2. You may also experience a feeling of tenderness on your breasts and nipples. Most of the time, they may also feel like they are swollen. One physical change that you may experience during pregnancy is the feeling you may experience with your breasts.
They may also seem heavier and the size becomes a little bigger once you are pregnant. This is an early symptom during pregnancy and may be experienced two weeks after the baby is conceived. This is due to the increased level of progesterone and estrogen hormones in preparation for the production of milk in your breasts.
3. Fatigue is one major symptom experienced during pregnancy. A woman usually feels stressed out during pregnancy especially during the early stages. This is because the body of a pregnant woman works extra hard in the excretion of more hormones and production of more fluids and blood to carry the nutrients to the fetus. The increase in progesterone level, which is a natural depressant, also explains why pregnant women experience sleepiness all the time.
4. Pregnant women also experience nausea, which at often times causes vomiting. This also explains the morning sickness that is experienced during pregnancy. This symptom is manifested during the first 56 days of pregnancy. However, nausea starts on the second week after the baby is conceived.
This symptom, although called as morning sickness, may be experienced anytime of the day. The increasing level of estrogen that is produced in the placenta causes the stomach to digest slowly and emptying it may take a longer time. This then results to an upset stomach, which explains why pregnant women vomit.
5. Spotting is also a sure sign that you may be pregnant. You will see that there is a slight bleeding and you may oftentimes feel cramps on your abdomen. You will see small spots of blood during the early stages of pregnancy.
This may happen around 11 to 14 days after the egg cell has been fertilized. This is because the fertilized egg begins to stick to the lining of your uterus. The spots of blood are in a lighter red color compared to the usual color of blood you see during menstruation. The cramps on the other hand, are due to the enlargement of the uterus in preparation for the growing fetus. The cramps are similar to the cramping experienced during menstrual periods.
Now that you know those pregnancy hints, dealing with them is another story. Though they may sound a bit daunting, there are ways to make them more manageable.
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