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At the risk of insulting the nearly 8,700,000 residents of the Garden State, I should explain that I was raised along the Jersey shore. I graduated from Red Bank High and spent many summers at the Driftwood Beach Club in Sea Bright. But as soon as I could muster the courage, I left that overcrowded, haven for the Sopranos, behind in 1976, and moved to the desert resort community of Scottsdale, Arizona. It only took a few years to rid myself of the telltale Eastern accent and acclimate to sunny days, wide-open spaces, and toll-free roadways.
While I’ve only touched on some of the reasons I departed the home of cranberry bogs and Bruce Springsteen, suffice it to say I left also left my snow shovel in the garage when I sold the house and never looked back. After all, winters in Scottsdale average near 70 degrees. I did enjoy a few aspects of shore living but not enough to keep me there. But enough about that part of the country. This article is really about what makes us crazy. Being from NJ was a beginning, but not entirely responsible for my current disabled behavior.
I don’t remember much about the Jersey drivers but I imagine they can’t be much worse than what I encounter daily in the West. It amazes me how most got their licenses. Was there some sort of online exam they could take that I missed? What else could account for their immature, uncourteous, lack of skills, and common sense? How can someone drive with no apparent realization that there are actually other drivers on the road? How can they make unique turns, sudden stops, and disturbing instantaneous speed changes that defy most laws of physics? I’m obviously one of the only drivers not vision-impaired and somewhat conscious of most of the rules of the road. That’s some sort of disability in itself, if one is to survive the snarl of unending traffic.
Another problem I possess is the inability to express myself properly. The other day I pulled into a well-known, fast-food, place’s drive-thru and ordered my usual ‘chicken taco salad.’ I assume they heard me because they asked if I wanted “haormadsews” which I translated on prior trips to say, “hot-or-mild sauce.” I declined, as I always do, and picked up my order. As I pulled away, I peered into the bag to discover a cheeseburger with fries. Why would that include “haormadsews” anyway, I thought? Pulling back around, I now spent and additional twenty minutes going into the restaurant, waiting in line and finally getting my correct order. Instead of apologizing, the clerk inform me I must have said something that sounded like “cheeseburger.” To which I replied, “Chicken taco salad” could, if one were, say, Chinese, sound EXACTLY like “cheeseburger.” Chalk up disability number three.
I have to admit that I have a fourth disability that is equally troublesome: failure to recognize the true problem. I’ve purchased a variety of domains and hosting sites online and had numerous problems. When I call for technical support usually one of the following occurs. I wait on hold for 30 minutes to discover the office is closed and I’m invited to leave a number or visit their site for FAQ’s or technical assistance. I’ve left many messages, which were ignored, so I call back. Now I get a nice gentleman named Sabu in Bombay, India. Although he is quite polite, he has an accent that could bring Professor Henry Higgins to his knees. I ask him to repeat every answer many times and still can’t figure out what he’s saying. Eventually, I realize the futility of the situation and hang up. Then he sends an e-mail apologizing for the communication problem and detailing my real problem: my computer’s probably out of memory.
So I dash to my local computer dealer (another national chain) and they sell me more memory. Back home, nothing works. I return to the shop and they sell me a new hard drive. Home again, still no luck. Four hundred dollars and several other parts later, they tell me to get a whole new computer and no, they won’t give me a refund on the “used” parts they sold me just two days ago. So I bite the bullet, buy a new computer, but not from them, the greedy #$%@*!
So maybe this counts as disability five: the one where I can’t see when I’m getting taken to the cleaners and have “sucker” stamped on my forehead.
I have a plethora of other disabilities that cause me daily consternation: I’m stupid, at least according to some relatives (although I possess two degrees); cheap, according to e-mails offering penis enlargements that I won’t purchase; not financially smart, because I ignore all the refinance-your-mortgage offers I receive in the mail (even though I don’t have a mortgage); and ignorant, because I purchased a pathetic Civic instead of a hot Hummer and laugh about rising gas prices (it also helps that I work out of the home and hardly drive at all).
So, with all these disabilities, it’s hard to believe I can function at all. I must have no life or chose to be oblivious to everything that goes on around me. Yet, even with these flaws, I will continue to attempt to order salads and troubleshoot computer glitches. Did I forget to mention I just got back from the Post Office with a small package that was prepaid for a return? After the clerk got off the floor from laughing so hard at the two-dollar postage on the label, I just had to ask what was the matter. Then he then told me it would be another five dollars and what the heck was I thinking? That’s about par for the course, I reckon.
That said, I still will not allow a few behavioral problems to keep me from my daily functions. So join with me in my crusade to overcome our disabilities and strive for our survival. In my particular case, it’s my way of saying to the world, “even though I’m from Jersey, I can take everything you can dish out!”
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Here you will learn all about misconceptions about penis size and how you can be perfectly happy with the size of penis you have.
There are many misconceptions about penis size and here we separate fact from fiction.
Currently penis size is big business there is more than $1 billion per year spent on vitamins, creams, pumps etc
No one knows penis size better than condom manufacturers.
Here are some facts on penis size from their research:
•Research shows that more than 70 percent of men have penises that measure between 5 and 7 inches when erect.
A penis is considered abnormally small only if it measures less than 3 inches when erect, and even then it might not matter
•The above size statistics are true for all the races of mankind. The concept that black men have a large penis while Japanese have small ones is totally false.
•A recent Dutch study of 375 sexually active women who had recently given birth suggests that the surveys are accurate — to a point. Seventy-nine percent of the women said that penis length is unimportant, and 69 percent of them said the same about penis girth.
•Exercise and food supplements can enlarge the size of your penis is totally false.
Penis size and your partner
Your partner is the best judge of size, but try to remember when you were young and in high school. ..
To make money, and feed on men’s insecurity about their penis size and possibility they may have a small penis many products are sold that simply dont work.
How to increase small penis 4 methods guaranteed not to work!
There are several methods recommended to increase penis size and surprise, surprise, none of them work. Here are 4 examples.
1.Stretching, and squeezing - sometimes known as jelquing. These are exercises that are supposed to be performed each day for an indefinite period of time.
Although they appear safer than other methods, they can lead to severe scar formation, and disfigurement.
The only result gained is a soft penis that has a somewhat larger appearance. This method has no affect on the erect penis.
2.Vacuum pumps and other devices. Because pumps force blood into the penis, making it swell, they can sometimes be useful in the treatment of impotence.
This may create an illusion of a larger penis, and the results are seldom permanent. Rather, repeated damages the elastic tissue in the penis, finally producing softer erections, or no erections at all.
3.Stretching with penile weights. This technique is dangerous, and very likely to cause permanent damage to your penis.
4.Pills, lotions, and hormone creams. These can contain vitamins, minerals, herbs. They sometimes have chemicals similar to Viagra and Cialis.
They also can contain hormones such as testosterone. Note that there is no evidence that it or any other substance can increase penis size in adult men. The opposite is rather the case.
Another method to increase a small penis size is cosmetic surgery.
In these surgical procedures, please note that EVERY professional medical society have all issued policy statements against cosmetic surgical procedures to enhance the penis.
The results can be catastrophic.
To lengthen a penis, the surgery typically involves cutting the suspensory ligament that attaches the penis to the pubic bone and moving skin from the abdomen to the penile shaft.
As the suspensory ligament stabilizes and gives an upward tilt to an erect penis, after surgery, the penis will not longer be able to achieve this tilt.
Such surgery can cause the penis to wobble, erect at strange angles, and more often than not, cause unpleasant side-effects.
On the negative side, after various types of cosmetic penile enhancement surgery, some men have had to undergo additional correction operations to address the deformities caused by the original procedure.
Some of the negative effects of this type of surgery are scarring, fat clumps, low-hanging penis, loss of sensitivity, bumps, lumps, shorter penis, and hair on the base of the penis. Other complaints include persistent pain, impotence, and urinary incontinence
So, unless your partner (s) remarks that something is wrong, follow the old adage of “not fixing what isn’t broken”.
On the other hand, take some time to understand your partner's physical, emotional needs and desires, and you may do a great deal more to improve your sexual relationship than would changing the size of your penis.
The myth of the small penis is exactly that and most women are more interested in a loving partner more than penis size. Of course, there are exceptions but generally men should not be concerned over size.
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If you notice any changes in your dog's normal urinary function then you must get him to the vet as soon as possible to be investigated. Your dog's kidneys are responsible for filtering the blood, while retaining useful chemicals, and ridding your the body of harmful and toxic chemicals. Waste material is then passed down the ureters to the bladder where it is stored. When the dog's bladder is full, the dog passes the urine through the urethra and out of the body.
If your dog is straining to urinate then this may caused by any number of multiple issues. It may be caused by infection, mineral sediment in the urine, or bladder stones that may be lodged in your dog's urethra. Not only are urinary disorders life threatening to your dog, they are also very painful. If there is increased amount of urination or even decreased trips to the bathroom then your dog may also have a metabolic illness such as diabetes.
Urination Strain
Infections of your dog's bladder and urethra may cause inflammation and an increased need to urinate, even when the bladder is empty. Male dogs may experience the same need when the prostate gland is either enlarged or infected, or the penis inflamed. The urine is sometimes clouded and will have slight discoloration from blood. Vaginal infections can cause females to strain in the same much the same fashion. Urination straining is more serious and much more painful if the cause is due to stones. Stones originate from the buildup of minerals from the bladder. Male dogs have a very narrow urethra, and these stones sometimes get stuck inside, causing severe pain and straining when urinating.
What to do: It is imperative that you get your dog to the vet as soon as possible. If the straining is so bad that he cannot urinate, then his life could literally be cut short within a few days of not being able to urinate. It is recommended that you get a urine sample to the vet.
If the problem is a result of a urinary infection, then antibiotics will be prescribed as well as urinary acidifiers. For severe blockage, the vet may use a urinary catheter in order to relieve pressure and pain. X-rays will be used to determine if bladder stones exist, and if there are indeed stones inside, then you will be notified to make a heavy change in your dog's diet to prevent them from forming again in the future.
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It takes a long time for students of English-as-a-second-language to learn to read well. This is not because they have a reading problem: They can read perfectly well in their own language. The problem is just that they don’t know the meaning of enough English words. In other words, they don’t have a big enough vocabulary.
It’s not easy to build a vocabulary that allows you to read as well, or almost as well, as people who grew up speaking and reading English. It's quite easy to build the basic vocabulary of 1000-2000 words that you need in order to speak English to other people and understand what they’re saying. You’ll probably pick up that many words, without really trying, during the early stages of your study of English. And if that doesn’t happen, you can always sit down with a good vocabulary list and a dictionary and start memorizing.
However, to be able to read English well, you need to know a lot more than 2000 words — about ten times that many, in fact. You won’t learn all these words without trying, even if you spend a lot of time taking English courses and talking to English speakers.
Learning the most basic words in English, or any other language, is easy because these words are used so often. ‘Second-level words’ — words that are not necessary for basic communication, but which are necessary for reading — can only be learned by the hard work of studying. But what sort of studying is most effective and most enjoyable?
One method is to take the direct approach and learn words ‘out of context’ — by studying word lists, doing vocabulary ‘exercises,’ or even by reading through a learners’ dictionary. There are plenty of textbooks around to help you with this job and you may find English courses that concentrate on this sort of vocabulary building.
It’s also possible to take a more ‘natural’ approach and try to build up your vocabulary by reading English books, newspapers, and magazines — looking up words in a dictionary as you go along and taking notes.
Both the direct and the indirect approach can work, but both have serious disadvantages. Most people find studying word lists and reading dictionaries quite boring, and a boring method of studying is likely to be ineffective. In addition, even if you’re not bored, you may find it hard to remember the words you try to learn in this way. It seems that words, and other things, stay in our minds better if we see them for the first time while we’re doing something interesting — like reading an enjoyable story or article.
The disadvantage of the natural approach is that for intermediate learners — ones who are trying to build their vocabulary up to the 20,000-word level — the most readily available texts tend to be far too difficult and, therefore, they are ineffiicent learning tools. Books, even if they are quite easy to understand, tend to be much too long for someone who is reading slowly while using a dictionary and taking notes. Magazine and newspaper articles, on the other hand, almost always contain a lot of language that is unnecessarily difficult because it is idiomatic or metaphorical or because it includes unusual words that are not really needed. This slows down learners and also makes the experience of reading less interesting and therefore less effective.
The best method of vocabulary building is one that combines the advantages of both approaches while avoiding the disadvantages. One way to do this is to learn vocabulary in context, through reading, but with texts that have been specially written for vocabulary building. This makes for natural, efficient, and enjoyable studying.
Finding this kind of reading material can be difficult, unfortunately. The reading passages in ESL texts can be a good source, but they're often few in number and very short. Moreover, the readings in books for beginners' are often quite uninteresting and the ones in books for more advanced students are often about quite difficult 'academic' ideas. To succeed with this method of vocabulary enlargement, you need long and interesting texts. The best sources are probably 'simplified' versions of famous works of English literature written specially for learners. Books of this kind are not used as often in ESL courses now as they were in the past, but, if you're taking an English course, your teacher may able to lend you some, and you should certainly be able to find some in your library. If you go to a library or bookstore to look for useful reading material, you should also look at children's and teenagers' books. They are written for readers who, unlike you, have English as their first language; but like you, they still have to learn more words before they can read 'grown-up' material easily.
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If your child is near or has passed his first birthday, you can begin incorporating pre-potty training ideas into his life. They are simple things that will lay the groundwork for potty training and will make the process much easier when you're ready to begin.
During diaper changes, narrate the process to teach your toddler the words and meanings for bathroom-related functions. Include descriptive words that you'll use during the process, such as wet, dry, wipe, and wash.
If you're comfortable with it, bring your child with you when you use the toilet. Explain what you're doing. Tell him that when he gets bigger, he'll go in the toilet instead of in his diaper. Let him flush the toilet if he wants to.
Help your toddler identify what's happening when she wets or fills her diaper. Have her watch you dump and flush.
Start giving your child simple directions and help him to follow them. For example, ask him to get a toy from another room or to put the spoon in the dishwasher.
Encourage your child to do things on her own: put on her socks, pull up her pants, carry a cup to the sink, or fetch a book.
Have a daily sit-and-read time together, to prepare for quiet potty sitting time.
Take the readiness quiz again every month or two to see if you're ready to move on to active potty learning.
Get Set
Buy a potty chair, a dozen pairs of training pants, four or more elastic-waist pants or shorts, and a supply of pull-up diapers or disposables with a feel-the-wetness sensation liner.
Put the potty in the bathroom, and tell your child what it's for.
Read books about going potty to your child.
Let your child practice just sitting on the potty without expecting a deposit.
Go
Begin dressing your child in training pants or pull-up diapers.
Create a potty routine--have your child sit on the potty when she first wakes up, after meals, before getting in the car, and before bed.
If your child looks like she needs to go--tell, don't ask! Say, "Let's go to the potty."
Boys and girls both can learn sitting down. Teach your son to hold his penis down. He can learn to stand when he's tall enough to reach.
Your child must relax to go: read a book, tell a story, sing, or talk about the day.
Make hand washing a fun part of the routine. Keep a step stool by the sink, and have colorful, child-friendly soap available.
Praise her when she goes!
Expect accidents, and clean them up calmly.
Matter-of-factly use diapers or pull-ups for naps and bedtime.
Either cover the car seat or use pull-ups or diapers for car trips.
Visit new bathrooms frequently when away from home.
Be patient! It will take three to twelve months for your child to be an independent toileter.
Stop
If your child has temper tantrums or sheds tears over potty training, or if you find yourself getting angry, then stop training. Review your training plan and then try again, using a slightly different approach if necessary, in a month or two.
